Maxine and I have been friends since childhood. She went from a very energetic lesbian (though bad-tempered and rude) who quotes movies and someone I used to date to a mostly kind, devout hetero Christian who wants a Christian husband and kids. Apparently she joined a Christian “friend” group as well who forced her to repent and become a Christian so she wouldn’t be a lesbian or something?? Anyway, the cons are that she’s friends with people who threatened to beat me up, bullied me, etc. but she also stood up for me?
She treated me like a pet or a 5-year-old because of my autism. She called me a retard and told me it was “none of my business” when I asked why she was angry. She called me an annoying brat who no one likes and talked behind my back but she also gave me stuff, was nice to me, and stood up for me.
Is it worth the friendship because of the nice things she did? Could she really have “just” been mad?
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You likely should not hang with anyone who calls you a retard.
People change.
Never burn the bridge. If she’s changed this much she can and will change again. Hopefully for the better next time.
But don’t expect anything good from her in the near future or even medium term. These kinds of changes can take decades+ to occur. Maybe in the best case she will be a better person 2 years from now.
You’re not wrong, but it’s a lot of if, but’s and maybe’s with an uncertain time frame. I’m not sure it would be healthy to wait it out and hoping for the best.
She treated me like a pet or a 5-year-old because of my autism.
That says it all. That’s NOT a friend
She called me a retard told me it was “none of my business” when I asked why she was angry. She called me an annoying brat who no one likes and talked behind my back
Only adds up
but she also gave me stuff, was nice to me, and stood up for me.
Probably for show/not too loose someone she can kick down to make herself feelbetter. One way or the other,vsee does not see you as an equal. Often (not always, but often) people can’t keep up the facade when angry and show a true face/opinion.
But only you can decide if all aspects in the friendship have a positive or negative balance for you.
The best thing you can do is move on, this person clearly doesn’t respect you, no one should ever be called a “retard” from a friend, or from anyone really, and she also talks about you behind your back, some friend she is.
You deserve better, you can and you will find better.
I agree with /u/dragontamer . At the very least, this person seems like a shit friend right now. I would simply stop reaching out to her and making plans with her. If she reaches out, tell her the people she is associating with and the way she is acting make you uncomfortable. Then, don’t spend time with her. Then, move on with your life.
Op, you sure she is your friend? She is no longer the same person and know.
She is a stranger now.
I really don’t know how you can fix it. I will stay away from her. She is toxic.
