Honestly I feel like this is why you generally shouldn’t lie to kids. I get that they wanted a fun surprise, and whatever it is fine, but overall kids should feel like their parents are a source of trust and not “fun partners” where the bottom might drop out of their reality at any moment because it was funny.
Never lying to your kids is a stupid idea. The world is full of liars and kids need to learn how to identify and respond. Lying to kids is a very important part of teaching critical thinking. However it needs to be age appropriate and done correctly. It’s not something you do randomly and cruelly.
For example when my kids were in kindergarten and they got home from school I would come up with stories about what their teacher called to tell me about their day. Stuff like they made a parachute for the class snake and tossed it from the top of the school. Obvious lies that got them comfortable detecting a lie and defending themselves.
As they got older I came up with more creative lies that had them researching online to prove what I said was obvious bullshit. I often tossed in unusual facts that kept them on their toes. They never could quite trust what I told them until they researched it themselves from reputable sources.
Over the years, I have had some very proud moments when then call bullshit on other adults.
That being said how the parents lied in the above story was obviously a bad one. It was not age appropriate for the kid to detect it and call them on it. It caused the kid to worry because he didn’t know what was going on.
You know, this is basically exactly what my father did for me growing up. I remember he’d tell me something outrageous and I would laugh and go “that isn’t true!” and he would get a big, goofy smile.
one of our favorite things to do as a family was go hide up in one of the upstairs rooms and peek out the window to watch this little family of raccoons play in the yard. i figure that’s why our major childhood lie was that a giant raccoon would gobble us up if we misbehaved.
we thought it was funny and also i bet it would have kept us safe from bears if we actually took it seriously
Completely agree with all of this
I’d let them in on the surprise shortly after the ride started. 4 hours is a lot of anxiety for a 6 year old.
Yeah. It’s fine if you just tell him that they’re going somewhere special and let that be the surprise and try to keep him distracted from thinking about it too much during the ride. Maybe I’m just soft, but I feel like that “Looks like we’re almost home!” is him having anxiety because he knows that something is wrong, but he’s not ready to just tell his parents that they are obviously lying and so he doesn’t know what to do or say.
Whatever. I mean it’s fine, it’s in no way traumatic or anything. I’m just saying how I feel like people should be to people who look up to them, as a general rule.
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At this point I feel like at least some of the people in this thread have some serious unresolved childhood issues.
look i got wheels for my baggage so it’s easier to drag around okay
I feel like you are overreacting.
I don’t see this as any different than lying about Santa or the Tooth Fairy.
You’re making the assumption that we approve of those lies too. They often cause issues at young ages with trust and conflict. Kids who trust their parents and have been lied to about Santa often conflict with kids who either were never lied to or have since learned better. For some, that feeling of betrayal is a significant memory.
I was never brought up to believe those particular lies, but I do recall kids arguing about it at that age, and I have memories of the way other lies (though perhaps believed by my parents) have caused harm in the past.
I understand some like the whole “magic” of believing thing, but I’m more on the side of just being truthful and letting kids make up their own magical fun.
Who is we? I was a kid once too… it seems like you are the one making assumptions.
I used ‘We’ as a stand-in for people who generally disagree with lying or tricking your kids for magic or surprise effect. Since I was countering your point, it obviously wouldn’t include you.
i was hoping it was a Royal We because yassssss queeen
Not a parent and no expertise here.
I guess it’s down to predictability. I imagine it is important to children to be able to predict what is going to happen. Might surprises, pranks or practical jokes erode trust?
Then again, I hate surprises so maybe it’s personal haha.
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Feel like they are spending the night there for his birthday tomorrow
Weird comments. I’d just like to follow this kids journey, talk about wholesome.
