New Zealand is in stealth mode. We keep it off the maps so trump doesn’t know it exists and leaves it alone

Jokes on them, I only read Luigi articles to fawn over the pictures

Why did you post a Bristol stool chart?

I would prefer Satan at this point. At least he’d deliver executive orders by beaming the evil thoughts directly into your head. It’d be so much better than having to visit twitter or truth social.

Maybe sacrificing people to appease the sun god never stopped, and the aptly named illuminati organize a new war every time the sun looks angry

Great idea. We need moth propaganda posters printed ASAP: “Scared you’ll die in the sun? Fear not. Form a Dyson sphere instead.”

Desalinated saline

Finally… A socially acceptable place for my dog to take a dump when I’m out walking him

You will for sure. Janitors today, your job tomorrow 👋

These are also great for when you’re up to your third divorce and looking for ways to streamline the process

Suqma ballgowns

They need to make a browser extension that changes every word on the fox website to its antonym. Then their website would be a useful news source instead of a complete failure with minimal attendance

Too soon, honey. A has-been has been murdered here. Shut your mouth or buzz off 🐝

If you zoom in and photoshop it a bit you can see it reads “MS-13” in small letters. Someone should tell trump!

Obviously fake. Do they really expect us to believe the streetlamps are turned on despite the fact it’s a sunny day? Couldn’t be more obvious

Exactly. Joining ice is the easiest way to show the world you’re antisocial, racist and have zero emotional intelligence. These people wouldn’t know empathy if it slapped someone else across the face

Yeah he used the word “inexhaustible”. There’s no way Trump knows any words with 5 syllables. And the long break “–” looks like something an ai would add. Trump doesn’t have enough empathy to care about the reader’s comprehension this much.

they were big fans of Wine too

Man… I remember when CCleaner was called CrapCleaner. Feels like a fever dream