Budget Dr. Who, aka Medical Student Who.

There are certain phrases or events which require a ritual response so that my children know all is correct with the world.

If anyone says “Cleopatra”, it is vitally important that I immediately reply “Comin’ atcha!”

If we see a police car, especially if it is running with lights and siren, I must say: “Oh. crikey, it’s the rozzers!”

If we see an ambulance, it is vital that I declare “Ambulance!” forcefully in a bad Welsh accent.

These rituals, and others like them, keep the world spinning correctly on its axis.

Dunno. I’ve only ever converted to about 1400 of them tops.

“There are an estimated 10,000 distinct religions worldwide” [source https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion]

Gonna need more apps.

Given a bit of lube you can just suppository half of those. Attack from two directions!

My dog goes outside to piss and shit. He’s a very good boy.

Sure, I’ll take him out for walks once I’m up but, to be honest, I need the exercise as much as he does.

Nice try, but just because there are political groups that support one side or another does not, alone, make knob cheese a political topic. Unless, knob cheese is the primary focus of said political groups.

Knob cheese.

Surely that should be ‘mix tape’? I scored 17 so I anticipate living for another hundred years!

Plus also, what the fuck are you doing on my lawn, ooh innit cold, the price of stamps these days, look at how young those policemen look, fucking cloud!

Mr name is Scrofula, so I guess Scrofulina might work out ok?

That’s why you should always jizz on your ciggies first.

Every Bonfire Night (the night we set fire to people who can afford to live in detached houses), we feast on bean cake! Beano, we cry, Beano! Get the Posh Street Kids, we cry, get Posh Street Kids!

New here? Wait 'til you catch a load of the moths.

14-year old me wanted to be that guy so much.

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed

Pffft, he was plagued with self doubt compared to Cecil Rhodes who went to Africa and said “this place is called Rhodesia now.”

BTCC races back in the day were fucking epic. The minis took the corners, the American muscle cars took the straights and the racing was glorious!

Here is a three-way battle between a Mini, a Ford Galaxie and a Jag for good measure!

Ooh, that’s about as good as you can get, using all the letters! Nice one!

Where would you like it to go? This is a safe space.

Where’s the flying helmet and celery option?