That explains the increasing number of dicks I have to deal with at work.

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I’m probably a kill-joy in my middle age, but this just reeks of 2012 era smash burgers that are impossible to fit in your mouth whose only purpose is to be photographed for social media.

Feel free to down vote. I know I’m no fun.

Oh no, dont thweton me. :3

Grandpa wants to change his diaper before it’s been shit.

I’ve seen critically reviewed papers that mouth breathers like you are taking up too much oxygen. You should look at yourself in the mirror. How much does it hurt?

Everybody knows only black males such as myself commit crimes… : exits scene left when the black face starts to sweat off:

He was in Joe Dirt as well. Not a masterpiece, but my buddies quoted it constantly until our brains were fully formed.

His buddy Uncle Cracker did a popular cover as well. Makes me physically I’ll when it pops up at work.

I think the only reason I bought the CD was the line: ‘Paint the town red and paint the sheriff’s wife white’ which vibed with my teenaged wannabe anarchist pubes.

I regret what I was, but I have grown. Kid Rock hasn’t.

Around here, we speak American, son. /S

No, that was Freddie Deftones.

I forget, did Hulk Hogan die? I can’t be assed to look it up.

He looks like Walter White if he sampled his own product.

Were I cursed with a child, I would request the vessel to speaker fuck the hifi once a day.

Bella Legosi’s dead.

/S

I used to wear extended wear soft contacts, but I’m a trash goblin and I’d leave them in for a month at a time, only cleaning them by vigorously squirting my eyes with saline when they would bother me.

I cut that shit out years ago when one pretty much glued itself to my eye and I spent an hour aggressively pinching my eye to extract it.

I never got good at putting them in/taking them out. I’m jealous of people in instructional videos that can just pop them in/out in seconds.

That was a neat little history lesson, thanks!

When you look at it from the side it’s always smug and conspiratorial.

:3

Hunting season is close!

Mine is also brown, but I’m ok with wood and trees that are naturally that color: I just hate the thought that people would paint things/dress themselves in such a depressing color.

: wears all black, ironically: