Is this a real life lobster?

I would be so embarrassed if I were Mars. What a loser planet. Doesn’t even have people.

That is very interesting. Never really thought about that.

Oh I see, you are right, thanks.

That is a very positive way to say “the oldest person in the world died”

You know what would be great? A good year for everyone who is not filthy rich.

Warum ist das denn so ein Problem für die CDU*innen?

Typisch. Den Bürgergeldempfängern werden Reichtümer zugeworden, sodass die sich sogar Luxusgüter wie Miete und Essen leisten können, aber der armer Millionär, der sich sein Geld regelrecht erkämpft, hat durch das Blut und den Schweiß seiner Arbeiter, darf sich nicht mal mehr jede Woche einen neuen Sportwagen zulegen ohne dass sein Kontostand stagniert.

As an enthusiast for both leaf soup and bean juice, it seems like most coffee drinkers think of cheap, old, dusty teabag tea, overboiled to taste like bitter vegetables in sewage water, while most tea drinkers think of pure dark overroasted burnt coffee, preground too finely (or as the worst kind of instant coffee), tasting like acid in an ash tray, like those are your only two options.

Both coffee and tea can be so terrible and also so wonderful. I guess my favorite coffee takes quite some preparation and my favorite tea cost me about as much as a junkie’s crack addiction. But both can be really nice if you spend a little more money on a quality product and take the bit of effort to prepare it properly.

Dann, they can have so many avocado toasts.

Erinnert mich daran als auf die Frage hin, ob ein Produkt aus natürlichen Rohstoffen gemacht sei, die Antwort kam, es bestünde aus natürlichen Stoffen, welche jedoch synthetisch und chemisch verarbeitet wurden…

Your scientists were so preoccupied with canned chicken, they didn’t stop to think if they should chicken.

People are so quick to judge the murder trolley system, but they don’t even understand it. They want to take away the rights of murder trolley conductors just because they have no idea what it’s like. They just hear that people die and hop on the anti-murder-trolley-bandwaggon. Sure, a few people die but it’s not that many and some of them might be bad people. There’s two sides to every story. Coming from a loving murder-trolley-conductor family I can assure you, NOT conducting the murder-trolley is the immoral thing to do. Just look at the impact on overpopulation and the decline in overall old-age disease in murder-trolley countries. I bet most people haven’t even tried it and just want to judge.

Single moms these days need to start pulling themselves up by their bootstraps. What I would do if my rent was tripled, is just reduce my avocado toast intake by 30% and go on a nice vacation with all the additional money I saved up.

SACRILEGIOUS!

Vampire Weekend were known as the pioneers of One Direction knock-offs, being largely successful with their approach of making music completely different than the famous boygroup even years before their start in music.

The closest is Arkansas which starts with an “A”. Which is pronounced similar to an “A”.

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Na den, der ihn am Auge verletzt hat.

Wenn einem gleich hundert Namen eingefallen sind und man alle so schnell wie möglich vergeben will.