Gorgonzola, pear and balsamic dressing.

You need young nettles though

That’s me. Nearly there lads, only 36 more years until retirement.

It’s in there. Being completely divorced from reality and convinced that every fever dream is truth leads to some strange places.

My brother’s visiting for the first time since he moved abroad last year. The siblings and myself are all getting together at our folks to shatter their well earned peace and quiet.

I missed the lanky git.

I do 5 12 hours shifts one week and then 2 12s the following.
Week 1 days m,t,f,s,s Week 2 days w,t Week 3 nights m,t,f,s,s Week 4 nights w,t

I love it. After bank holidays and annual leave I work 158 days a year. With the way the shifts are organized I can take 2 days of leave and be off work for a week.

I’ve likely been to more shows and concerts in the last two years than in rest of my adult life.

Or ufc fighter John Jones getting offended by skinny negro jeans.

I’m a drunk with a job. I’d imagine I’d be a drunk without a job for a bit before the first one again.

You can also grab twist em upside down and squeeze them into a wee little fly face to thrill all your future partners.

Yeah. I fell pretty shitty about it to be fair.

I’d been going out with this girl for a couple months. We’d been getting on great. I was really struggling with keeping a handle on my alcoholism at the time and did something embarrassing one evening. Also lost my phone that night. I woke up with the shames, got a new phone number and never spoke to her again.

In retrospect I probably shouldn’t have been dating if my anxiety was going to let me toss what could have been a good thing because I couldn’t have a conversation the next day.

For a while there I was a homeless alcoholic. Now I’m an alcoholic. Given the choice between the two I know which I’d rather.

I process meat. My hands are rarely dirty but sometimes there seepage through my overalls.

No thanks, I take mine black.

That’s an absolutely valid point. I’m not American but in Ireland we get the same “foreigners are stealing our jobs” bullshit. I work in a meat processing plant. Most Irish new starts don’t last the first week.

What jobs are they stealing? Jobs we won’t do? We need immigrants, we aren’t far away from a declining population. I don’t understand how people thing that’s an issue when our entire economy is propped up on migrant workers.

24 bottles but yeah.

I used to unload trucks in an absolute madhouse.

The heat in the back of the transparent roofed trailers in summer was a nightmare so some of the lads would strip down to their boxers then pop their boots and high vis back on. We eventually got cameras installed pointing down the trailers and we’re suddenly required to be fully clothed at all times. Our shift lead took particular offense to this and flashed his cock at the camera whilst shouting obscenities. He didn’t come back to work the next day.

We had 4 guys sacked for not only opening customers parcels but for taking fireworks out of said parcel and taping them to Frisbees which they then threw to each other. One inevitably went off in one fella’s hand. He eventually managed to sue for unfair dismissal somehow.

Another guy was caught trying to sneak a slab of wine out to his car.

That sounds like a plan I can get behind. Ireland could do with a bit more coastline if you guys are buying.

I lived in tents for the better part of a year. I’d set up anywhere with a bit of cover that wasn’t frequently walked through. Woods mostly.

Nah its not just the US. I’ve run into similar in Ireland. I went into the supermarket to pick up pads and a tub of ice cream. Passed them to the young fella behind the counter who then leans over and whispers “do you need me to put them in a paper bag for ye?”

I’m off to strain the spuds.