The candy canes on The Festive are all upside-down.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his toes.

Nothing ever just works. You must make it work, and keep it working. If you aren’t making it work yourself, then someone else is doing that for you.

About two months ago.

Chuck Norris doesn’t lift weights. They rise out of respect.

Light doesn’t travel faster than Chuck Norris - he gives light a head start.

Chuck Norris made his cowboy boots himself from real cowboys.

Chuck Norris once killed two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

The sign even turns on and off at different times of day. I assume it’s on a timer that is set to the store’s old operating hours.

When Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bar says “Ouch.”

This is how it starts. Denny’s is slowly dying. Its revenue in 2025 is half what it was 20 years ago. Denny’s is trying to stop the bleeding by scaling back, but it’s too little too late. Private equity smells blood in the water. This will end just like Toys R Us, Sears, and so many others.

So long, Denny’s. Soon you will be gutted and sold for scrap, and your name will be added to the list:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_private_equity_owned_companies_that_have_filed_for_bankruptcy

The European mind can scarcely comprehend the soul-crushing sadness of suburban America.

It’s 100% done, but I need you to keep waiting…

Still 100% done. Keep waiting…

Okay, actually done now.

I used to hate Illinois Nazis. I still do, but I used to, too.

Today was supposed to be my first day out, but conditions were too poor to bother. Hoping to get my first turns on Wednesday. Keep doing those snow dances!

Chill until we cannot chill any further.

I don’t know. Maybe? The picture is from here: