That’s one hell of a month

Like tar, if we peel it off your skin will come off too.

I’ll never forget the time I bought a book called Never Eat Alone and my ex ridiculed me for buying it (she’s Chinese so the idea of eating alone was ridiculous to her). I ended up just putting the book in my bookcase, to this day I still feel shitty when I look at it.

Hell, not even that. You could become a world class boxer or UFC fighter. You can basically slip any punch or attack instantly and you can teleport your fists into the sweet spot to score a knockout. You would be an amazing baseball player as well, you can teleport to perfectly hit any ball at just the right angle. As a quarterback you would be insane too, you can readjust to any play instantly. In fencing you’d basically be unstoppable, you can dodge everything. For any sport or physical activity being able to teleport 7 inches is insanely overpowered. The person who came up with this doesn’t play any sports.

Hey, I know this reference!

Alright, the only way we can defeat religion is with cookouts and community events

Well, we do live in different times. Back then, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. ‘Gimme five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones

I used to get my weed in a big trash bag behind the high school from a guy on a yamaha scooter. It was mostly seeds and stems and you had to smoke a lot to even get high but it was great because it gave you something fun to do with friends. I can’t handle the weed people smoke nowadays, one toke sends me straight to the nether realm.

I didn’t live on campus but I was in a fraternity, was in the tennis club and I worked as a guide for exchange students. There were plenty of opportunities to meet new people and date.

Tell him this. Homosexuality can develop later in life if you’re not accepting of gay people. In an effort to protect you from gayness, your homofobic body will develop gay antibodies, in time these will alter your DNA by consuming your straight cells and turning you into a big ol’ gay. The only way to prevent this from happening is to be open and welcoming towards all gay people.

“Nursing home for gay ass removeds who weren’t accepting of their child’s sexuality.”

I wonder if there’s anyone alive right now who would be capable of such a task.

I’m guessing it’s because of their cool accents and off the wall sense of humor

Gardening is gay because of roses. Gardens often contain roses, the Japanese word for rose is bara. Barazoku, meaning the rose tribe was Japan’s first gay magazine. The magazine was named so because the rose is a prominent symbol of male homosexuality in Japan. This is because of the Greek myth of King Laius who would have affairs with boys under rose trees. You might argue that gardening is not gay if the garden includes no roses but you would be wrong. Roses grow in soil, the word soil is gay. Therefore any form of gardening is inherently gay.

Show me where I’m wrong

You seem troubled. If you’re ever in Amsterdam, let me know and I’ll buy you a beer and you can tell me about what’s bothering you.

Are you insane? What’s next? Are you going to lock all the employees inside the Panera and supply them with weapons and organize a free for all battle royale where the winner gets health insurance?!

It’s not all around great but I think New Zealand has a pretty decent government

Would he have someone bite off his head?

Bruh, I had a colleague who transitioned FTM and he would talk about this all the time. Constantly being told the most basic shit over and over really fucked with the guy before he transitioned, he said not having to deal with it felt like a breath of fresh air.

You should wear two wedding rings, it’ll double your number of flirts plus you’ll seem open to polygamy.