I am a bit of an avoidant introvert. I hate being out in crouds. I hate having to deal with people in person. I don’t like speaking. But I do like talking online. I like hanging out with people… online. In games or VRchat or chatrooms or forums.

The only real difference I can see why this might be is the expected behaviour and etiquette. IRL, it would be rude as fuck if a random person just joined a conversation you and your friends were having at a restaurant or something. It would be rude to not engage at all if you were invited to a party.

But online it’s totally different. It’s not rude to just join an ongoing conversation between strangers. It’s not rude to lurk. I can get as much or as little social interaction I need, at my own pace, take part in conversations I want to and only read others I don’t have anything to add but still may be interested in.

  • Midnight WolfEnglish
    2·
    5 months ago

    I’m kind of the same way. I don’t want to interact with anyone at all irl, unless I know them. A +1 is fine, but don’t fucking leave me with the +1 I swear I will burn this house down to just get out of the situation.

    I’m kind of nervous online, but I can use other people and the game or whatever as a buffer. And after a time, I can open up and then it’s like a switch has been flipped and I overshare. But if someone I don’t know says hi to me in public, I’m like, ‘ack what did they want and how do I get out of this situation as fast as possible’. I need that ability to escape until I know this new person. I don’t have that irl. It’d be kinda suspicious to bring gasoline and a lighter around anytime there is a chance of bumping into new people.

    I didn’t used to be this way, at least not as bad. But my disability has made it more difficult to get out of situations - I once had a dude pray for me, bellowing through the aisles of a Walmart supercenter for, I shit you not, 10+ minutes. People are fucking weird. I’m no exception, but I’m a freaky geek with way too many kinks, but I’m not bothering people while they do their shopping. So many people have stopped me and are like “I’m sorry to bother you, but” and ask me about my disability (at least the visible one). Which, their intentions and interest are well and good, but they’ve now pulled me out from doing a kinda-normal task, and reminded me that I’m a physically fucked-up individual, ruining the happiness from getting out and doing whatever thing it was I was doing.

    So I guess for me it’s a mix of social anxiety that I’ve always had, and people being nosy. But online, I’m just a hybrid wolf, not totally fucking broken, who can still be competitive in games. To most online, I’m normal.