• OhStopYellingAtMe
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    5 hours ago

    Judas: “the one I kiss is Jesus.”
    Roman guard: “couldn’t you just like point at him or something?”
    Judas (putting on lip balm): “I don’t tell you how to do your job…”

  • DaMonsterKnees
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    1 day ago

    Heh, despite my actual beliefs, I did grow up with this stuff, and Iirc, Jesus knew it was his last, and famously declared someone would betray him at this, his last supper. I know it’s a joke, just pointing that out.

    • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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      24 hours ago

      And coincidentally it occured right after casting the moneychangers out of the temple.

      Like, I bet he and his closest confidants had a huddle after that and were like “Yeah, they’re gonna kill you for that tomorrow…”

      • peopleproblems
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        22 hours ago

        Its almost like the rich and powerful have always used their power to silence opposition to their wealth.

        • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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          21 hours ago

          Jesus used to be my socialist idol, but other socialists didn’t like it whenever I mentioned that…

          It’s like they didn’t realize how powerful it would be to subvert the dominant messaging about Jesus being a white trash, racist, jingo-nationalist, homophobic redneck who loves capitalism and america…

          • luciferofastora@feddit.org
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            6 hours ago

            I’ll guess it has something to do with leftists not liking religion. Probably because the whole idea of a supreme ruler demanding obedience and tribute in exchange for nebulous promises instead of using his power to improve our conditions in the here and now (for the almighty, fixing disease and poverty would definitionally be possible) just doesn’t quite gel with the lip service to solidarity.

            Jesus may have been socialist in his speeches, but Christianity as a religion sure isn’t. To wrap it in a biblical metaphor, you’re sowing that word where the soil is infertile and it cannot take root. If you wanna preach, turn Christians into socialists, but don’t expect socialists to be fans of Christianity.

            • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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              1 hour ago

              It doesn’t have to be religious though. A secular reading can still result in the conclusion that jesus was a socialist. I grew up reading the gospel, and it always appeared to me that jesus went around calling out religious hypocrites, preaching love over hate, telling people to sell their things and give their wealth to the poor, even share everything in common, take care of each other, take care of the poor, sick, disabled, and imprisoned. And ultimately he was executed by the religious establishment for being too radical in their view.

              Jesus may have been socialist in his speeches, but Christianity as a religion sure isn’t.

              What was call “christianity” today has evolved quite a bit since the times when they were hiding in caves in the desert, practicing in secrecy, because any open support for this radical group of what were essentially communists was enough to be publicly executed. It didn’t start getting co-opted and corrupted until a roman emperor converted and started turning it into a new means of wielding control. Before that, the early christian martyrs were often killed by the entrenched powers-that-be for refusing to disavow what they believed in. If socialists can’t take inspiration from that, then what are we doing?

              I’m not saying socialists should be “fans of christianity,” but there’s a difference between christianity as we know it today, and the teachings of christ as laid out in the gospel. I don’t even like christianity anymore, because it’s clear the hypocrites have won the battle for messaging and are the ones controlling the narrative. I don’t believe in god anymore, besides. But that doesn’t stop me from recognizing a socialist jesus when I read the book of matthew.

              You’re approaching this from an angle where you seem to think it needs to be religious. It doesn’t.

          • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
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            20 hours ago

            Since it’s so powerful, you should unleash it at the other Christians who ought to be more socialist, not the other socialists who ought to be more Christian.

          • MinnesotaGoddam
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            18 hours ago

            i also like how according to modern science Jesus must be trans if you accept the narratives but reject divinity.

            • village604@adultswim.fan
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              15 hours ago

              If you remove the divinity then you’re just left with Mary having a flimsy excuse for being knocked up.

              Thinking Jesus was the only known case of complete human parthenogenesis is like thinking there’s zebras when you hear hoof beats.

              • MinnesotaGoddam
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                15 hours ago

                And female at birth!

                This is one of those “the circle goes in the square hole” things

    • otterpop
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      1 day ago

      Yeah, you’re remembering correctly! It would make more sense if the apostles were the ones expressing surprise. If anyone wants to read about it, Matthew 26:17-35 is the account.

      • DaMonsterKnees
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        19 hours ago

        From my studies, again, not a member of the faith, just educated in it, Matthew desired to build the early Christian community and leaned into stories like this of the people coming together over Jesus teachings. Kinda interesting the slant here then, imo, when you consider that. Yeah boys, let’s break bread, but there is a snitch ass bitch amongst us trying to bring this good thing to an end.

        • luciferofastora@feddit.org
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          6 hours ago

          From my studies, again, not a member of the faith, just educated in it

          As an aside and from purely anecdotal, personal experience, it seems that studying the Bible and faith too closely (and particularly the history) is a great way to stop being a member of the faith if you ever were.

        • village604@adultswim.fan
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          15 hours ago

          It’s important to note that the gospels were written like a century after the people they’re named for died.

    • NocturnalMorning
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      23 hours ago

      I mean, do we know that though? This was supposedly well over two thousand years ago. We don’t even have good records of stuff that happens in the recent past in some places.

  • Klear@quokk.au
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    1 day ago

    “I’m going to need a table for 26”

    “There’s so many of you?”

    “Actually just 13, but we will all sit on one side of the table.”