Trump rambled in the email, telling his supporters they had been with him through ‘everything’ – his impeachments, a ‘rigged’ election, ‘sham’ legal cases and his assassination attempts.
‘That’s why I’ve launched a 24-HOUR TRUMP FUNDRAISING BLITZ, and I’m asking everyone to chip in $15 to make it one for the record books!’
Disregarding the obvious flaw in reasoning that raising money for yourself will buy you a place in heaven somehow, which goes against the basic principles of the Christian belief system.
The motherfucker has been racking $1 Billion every month in bribes ever since he got into office and still begs for more money.
This individual is incapable of feeling shame or remorse.
The whole of American “Christianity” goes against the basic principles of the Christian belief system
The whole of American “Christianity” goes against the basic principles of the Christian belief system
More importantly, to me, it defies the intent of the founding fathers, and the separation of church and state, and I dunno, let’s see, the FIRST AMENDMENT where all this is enshrined…
But conservatives are too fucking stupid to care about anything but wins, guns, and protecting rapists & pedos.
Which part of Christianity? The Roman Catholics who haven’t fully gotten out of the Indulgence racket, if you buy a fancy thing for the Church? The cult he’s with, who preach Prosperity Gospel? The various megachurch & televangelist cults who support him?
Which part of mainstream Christianity isn’t slanted toward the rich? And don’t say Liberation Theology - that isn’t mainstream.
well you’ve been able to buy absolution from the church for literally thousands of years
More money than he could possibly spend in the rest of his misrable life and still trying to get more. It’s a sickness.
I’ll give him $15 if he’ll just fucking die… he’s going to rot in the ground regardless.
He wont rot. Not if they use enough embalming fluid.
Here, I’ll donate to that project!
hands you suspicious jar of embalming fluid
…actually, it’s just my piss. But still use it, ok?
That jar isn’t nearly enough. I’m sure I can get you some more.
Rig him up to a urinal, I’ll get the line going.
The trumpers are probably going to put him in a reliquary. He’ll be thin at at last. His hands will still be tiny though. All I ask is that they don’t have him stuffed into a taxidermy.
They’ll just have him lying in state forever being repaired and pieces of him replaced like Lenin.
An Egyptian pharaoh tomb
He is 20% embalming fluid already, his corpse is gonna stay fresh for a millennium
He should attempt passing a camel through the eye of a needle first.
This can be done with science
Light speed camel is capable of many amazing feats
Dont even need to go that far, simply blend the camel first
If Donald Trump blends himself into a slurry to get into heaven, I’m fine with that.
Yes, but science is liberal bullshit. Give trump money and he’ll build the biggest, most beautiful eye of a needle.
A month later the St. Louis Arch will be renamed Trump Heaven GatewayTM. $10k ticket to walk through it to make sure you go to heaven and be with
godtrumpIf it actually works then I support this too. The trip to heaven needs to be immediate and one-way though.
Some staffer needs to change out all his pills with smarties or sweet tarts. Need to stop letting science keep the science deniers alive. If god wanted you to live, he wouldn’t have made McDonalds so delicious.
If someone would just spill a drop or two of visine in his coke…
They’re gonna put a suicide spot on top where you can pay to “trump” yourself aren’t they
Does general relativity make this any easier? I vaguely remember a podcast explaining a thought experiment where a car that is longer than a barn can shrink to fit in the bar. This is because the barn doors disagree on whether they are open/closed simultaneously based on the point of reference. So there must be a point of reference that shrinks the camel.
I’m probably not the guy to ask this question to, but I would speculate based on our currently available science, sufficiently warped spacetime could make this possible, however incredibly difficult to achieve without sufficient technology and energy.
It would be easier to use physical forces or chemical forces to turn the camel into material with low enough viscosity to pass through the needle. I don’t believe it was stated anywhere that the camel had to be assembled upon delivery.
I don’t have good confidence that the camel would comfortably survive, or even be correctly assembled, if it were stuffed through the same aperture using warped spacetime instead. Someone smarter than me would have to tackle that one, but spaghettification comes to mind.
It gets shorter and more massive. From a certain viewpoint.
I didn’t know that crafting large barrel hoops was science…
He’s given his daily kidney stone sample yes
Edit: huh.“how can a rich guy get to heaven?” “piss a camels weight in kidney stones” has a ring to it. Jesus had a way with words apropos of nothing and having no linguistics skill at all I’ve decided this is how it was in the original Aramaic. Lol.
It would be far easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle, than for Trump to get into Heaven.
That sounds like a communist wrote it!
Not Catholic heaven, tip the doorman and ask forgiveness on your way out and everything’s fine.
He’s dying and he’s scared. A scared pathetic little worm using the last of his days to desperately try to grift and grovel his way into heaven. Lol. Lmao even
The Onion is getting pretty unbeli- WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S REAL
You’re joking, right? Trump doing yet another grift is one of the most believable things there is.
First instinct was to check if this was The Onion.
TRUE MAGA FANS WILL GIVE IT ALL TO ENSURE BILLIONAIRE DONALD TRUMP GOES TO HEAVEN.
DONT ASK HOW ONLY GIVE.
THERE IS NO HEAVEN ONLY ZUUL
can I give zuul 15 dollars to put some fuckers into fast lane
This is a song goes out to the guy in the back, it’s called we hate you please die
Sweet! Love that one
It’s not a race
If these evil people are deserving of heaven, then I want to be in hell
“Go to heaven for the climate, and to hell for the company.” Mark Twain
It’s evil fucks like him who always used religion as a tool to control people via fear. The evil fucks never believed in heaven.
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I can spot him a shotgun shell if he wants.
There is no God.
But if there was, it’d be fun to let Donald Know that he was totally going to get in despite everything…
Except for that one time he made an AI meme of him as the new Pope.
And then send him to Hell, genuinely believing that he only had one whoopsie doodle his whole life while he just burns and burns.
I’d rather him be tortured forever by the devil in a sort of Dexter like role, standing over him forcing him to see how he made people suffer, each time getting a knife plunged into his heart, forever.
But that’s just me.
I much prefer the version of him getting to experience all the pain he caused others while knowing it was him that did it. Fully experiencing what the children he assaulted felt, what each person he sent to a torture camp went through, the humiliation of having to beg an imbecile for the weapons to keep fighting a defensive war, the uncertainty, the broken families, the damage he’s done to his own family. The thirst and heat associated with his pro climate change agenda.
Any hell worth having is merely experiencing the one we bring to others.
Yeah, that’s better actually.
Thanks, I grew up thinking a lot about what kind of hell a loving God would make
Something something getting a camel through the eye of a needle being easier than getting a rich man to heaven.
Trump lived his life as a grift and he’s going to go out as one.
The good thing is he knows he’s going to die. Soon.
How many gallons of piss do you think is going to hit this man’s grave before they remove it?
He doesn’t even mention why he thinks more money will get him into heaven. Does he think Jesus is gonna shake him down for cash? Like heaven is in some sort of budget crunch?
What are his plans for all this money? The US already pays (in more ways than one) for everything he does.
It’s Prosperity Gospel, which is what the cult he’s gotten caught up in “believes”.
The irony is that, even though prosperity gospel is unbelievably shitty, the conflating of wealth = goodness and thus if you’re a good person God will make you wealthy effectively means that if you’re having to ask for money, you’re not a good person
And if you fall on hard times you did something wrong.
It’s fucked up.
No argument there. It’s an actual belief that the rich get richer and the poor have children.
No, no, see the way they spin it is, he doesn’t “have” to ask for anything. He’s giving you the opportunity to be part of the goodness that results from his bank account ballooning - after all, if you donate to him going to heaven, when it’s your time, he’ll be waiting there for you. And before that, you can turn around and ask others to help you.
It’s MLM tactics as a religion. Blame Amway & Tupperware ;-)
